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The Lair of Dragonwiles
fanfictions both comedic and serious
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Anime characters come in sevens, and lots of cartoon characters are in bands. What if some of anime's most famous seven character groups formed bands and put on a concert together?
Featuring characters from InuYasha, Yu Yu Hakusho, and Fushigi Yugi.
This fanfiction spoils the plot developments of many stories: that is, it reveals the plot twists of these stories before you may be ready. Don't keep reading if you want to be surprised by the real stories!
The Bands of Seven
Kagome Higurashi stopped short, her black hair stirring in the wind. She communicated tersely to her comrades, "I sense the presence of a Shikon Jewel Shard."
"Great work Kagome," Inuyasha sarcastically complimented her, his white hair moving as he leaned forward to point out the name "The Band of Seven" on the concert hall's marquee. "I don't know how we would have known that without you."
"It's nice to be appreciated, Inuyasha!" Kagome spat back. "I know that we all remember every member of the Band of Seven is kept alive by an embedded Shikon Jewel Shard!"
"Then you didn't have to point it out like we're all idiots," Inuyasha retorted.
"I was trying to be helpful!" Kagome fumed. "I was telling you that the Band actually is here and there was some point to coming all this way!"
Their handsome friend Miroku had been leaning against his staff with both hands, not from travel weariness, but from weariness at Inuyasha and Kagome's frequent lover's quarrels. He now took his right off the staff to hold it up in a gesture for peace. The palm of that hand was wrapped in dark cloth and beads which glinted in the setting sun.
"Now, now, let's just continue inside the concert hall as we were," Miroku suggested.
Sango took her giant boomerang off of her back so that she'd be able to fit inside the door. Her two-tailed cat Kilala leapt off the shoulder of her pink and red outfit so that she'd be able to remove the boomerang freely. Sango commented, "It's a good thing there isn't any barrier here, like there was the last time that we met the Band of Seven."
"Yeah," Inuyasha closed his fist, "this time their Jewel Shards are ours."
Miroku was studying the marquee closely. It read, "Band of Seven Reunion Tour: Back from the Dead Again. Featuring: The Band of Seven, The Suzaku Seven, Koutou's top artists: The Seiryu Seven, and introducing Seven Psycho Psychics."
Next, Miroku examined a sign with large letters near the door: "Truce in effect on these grounds, on pain of fee." Miroku nodded, remembering that those words were in rather smaller print at the bottom of the advertisement for the concert.
Looking back over his shoulder and gesturing to the sign, "We must all use great self control and refrain from attacking until the concert is over. At that time, the Band of Seven should be tired, making it easier for us to prevail."
"Do you all think I'm losing my memory?" Inuyasha yelled.
"Calm down, Inuyasha," the young fox-demon Shippo said as he crossed his arms and closed his eyes to register his disgust at Inuyasha's behavior. Inuyasha glared at the top of Shippo's head, since Shippo was standing directly next to him and was only as tall as his knees. He refrained from retaliating against Shippo as Kagome was still angry and had her eye on him.
"Speaking of self-control," Sango said grimly, "there's something else we need to take care of before we go inside."
The nefarious Band of Seven labored on the stage. Renkotsu and Ginkotsu were quickly setting up the amplifiers, while Bankotsu sat upstage and polished his halberd Banryu. Kyokotsu the giant tried practicing his choreography without his colossal stature bumping against the ceiling. Jakotsu, sitting on the edge of the stage, complained, "This is really boring. When are the cute fans going to be here?"
"You could actually do something to help," Renkotsu suggested tightly.
"Grrsh," Ginkotsu agreed.
"All right, I'll help you set up the amplifiers," Jakotsu grumbled.
"No, go do something else," Renkotsu insisted.
Jakotsu put his hands on his hips and protested, "You wanted me to help!"
"Do something else that's useful," Renkotsu demanded.
"It's not as though this is very hard," Jakotsu said, bending down and picking up an instrument's plug. "This plug just goes into the fourth socket on the amplifier, right?"
Just before the plug was inserted, Renkotsu grabbed Jakotsu's hand. "Yes, it does go in the fourth socket. Unfortunately, you were placing it in the third socket."
Jakotsu recounted the sockets with a puzzled expression. "Are you sure?"
Renkotsu carefully placed the plug in the correct, fourth socket. "Yes."
Bankotsu unexpectedly called from the other end of the stage, "Never mind them, Jakotsu- come help me practice."
Jakotsu readily headed towards Bankotsu, asking, "Practice combat or practice the song?"
"Either one, it doesn't really matter," Bankotsu informed him. Bankotsu's head suddenly snapped away from Banryu to note with surprise, "Hey, it's Inuyasha and his stupid gang." He then noted with extreme surprise, "What're they doing with the monk? I thought he was part of their team!"
Miroku struggled once again against the ropes that held him. "Friends, I assure you that these measures are entirely unnecessary-"
"They're definitely necessary," Sango told him.
"Sure are," Inuyasha agreed as he lowered from his shoulder Miroku's bound form, and placed Miroku in one of the concert hall's seats. Kagome and Sango quickly tied Miroku's hands to the armrests. The ladies, Shippo, and Inuyasha, then began to settle into seats around Miroku's seat, while Kilala leapt into Sango's lap.
Miroku tried to wiggle as he pleaded, "It's a very extreme solution-"
Kagome huffed at him, "We've known for months, Miroku, that you can't behave yourself in public. This is the only way to make sure that you don't try anything."
Inuyasha crossed his arms and placed his hands inside the opposite sleeves of his robe, both to show he was resolved to keep Miroku trussed, and because it was cool in the theater. "We'll release you when we're ready to get the Shards, and not a moment earlier. I don't want you to cause some situation that could mess up the battle."
Their words made Miroku incredulous. "Sango," he begged, "I can't believe that you don't trust me to-"
"I trust you to act like yourself, Miroku," Sango interrupted, her voice simmering with dim rage at his past transgressions.
Seeing that the others were unmoved by his plight, he turned to Shippo. "Shippo, you surely can that this is not reasonable. It's destroying our team's ability to cooperate and work together towards our common goal of beating Naraku."
Shippo eyed him cynically. "You're the one who's always destroying our cooperation. Every time we go into town, you're always off doing something shady, and then Kagome and Sango and Inuyasha have to yell at you. I think we'll save a lot of time if you aren't able to do anything fishy."
Miroku hung his head. "I suppose I should consider this ordeal as a penance and spend this time meditating upon modifying my behavior."
"That sounds like a wise idea," Shippo agreed with the improbably high amount of gravity a young child can muster.
Sighing heartbreakingly, Miroku lamented, "The thing I was most looking forward to about this concert was the food and drink that would be provided."
"I'll feed it to you," Sango said as blood began to seep into her cheeks.
Miroku blinked in surprise: he hadn't considered that. "Thank you," he said simply.
Jakotsu looked with mild excitement at InuYasha and his party. He asked, "Can we kill them now, Bankotsu?"
"Why bother?" Bankotsu asked. "We're not going to get any Jewel Shards out of it."
Kyokotsu, frustrated at the room's low ceiling, was trying to break it apart with his fists and having some success.
"I want to kill somebody! This is boring-" Jakotsu complained, then asked excitedly, "Hey, can we kill them? Those two who came in just now?"
Bankotsu looked at the young man and woman who had just entered. "I don't think they'll last very long to be much fun. Kill them after the concert so you can have something to look forward to."
The young man and woman, Yusuke Urameshi and Keiko Yukimura, entered the theater. They appeared to be entirely normal humans. All that was unusual about them was their greater than average attractiveness, and their failure to be amazed at a concert hall filled with unusual beings. Yusuke was unworried by Kyokotsu's size physical power, and Keiko was unconcerned with the dog ears which stuck out of the top of InuYasha's head. They did, however, find it odd that Miroku was tied up, and kept their distance from the row in which Inuyasha's group was sitting.
They arrived at the front row. From a side entrance came Kurama, a man with red hair and green eyes. The three greeted each other happily. Keiko sat down, while Yusuke went back towards the door. Kurama sat nearby and his eyes swept over the theater, noting Miroku's imprisonment with slight surprise and then a soft, understanding smile. Miroku got the feeling that this man had immediately worked out what was going on. Miroku wished the redhead would help him if that were the case.
Before Yusuke arrived at the door, a tall man with red hair and blue eyes entered, accompanied by a tall woman with brown hair and a shorter woman with ice blue hair.
"Hey, Kuwabara! Shizuru, Yukina, you're looking well!" Yusuke called out to them.
"Urameshi!" the tall man, Kuwabara, cried. "Good to see you again."
"Yo," the tall woman, Shizuru replied to Urameshi
"Hello, Yusuke," Yukina said politely as she bobbed her blue head in greeting.
The two groups moved rapidly towards each other. Kuwabara continued, "Yeah, you won't believe what I got on my test- what's going on in that row?" he suddenly pointed to Inuyasha's group.
Yukina put her hand over her mouth. "They've tied up that poor monk."
"I dunno, maybe it's some sort of weapon," Yusuke shrugged. "Or it could be a fashion accessory."
Shizuru took her cigarette out of her mouth and fixed Yusuke with a cynical gaze, then asked, "You really think that he tied himself up? Voluntarily?"
In the meantime, Kuwabara had advanced upon the row and demanded, "Hey, is this some kind of bizarre kidnapping or something?"
Inuyasha spoke before Miroku could turn the situation to his advantage. "No, it's more of a punishment. It's for his own good."
Kuwabara raised his fist. "I bet he has a rather different opinion."
Miroku would've raised his hand in a gesture of peace, but instead spoke up. "It may seem difficult to believe, but they are my friends."
Sango added her voice, "He just has a few problems with self-control, and we're trying to help him enjoy the concert without alarming anyone. We'll release him when the concert is over. It's the best compromise we could agree on."
Kuwabara nodded. "Oh, I get it." Everyone relaxed.
Kuwabara then began to charge forward towards the imprisoned monk. "You've got him under mind control and that's why he's agreeing with you!"
Yusuke's hand clamped on his shoulder before he went too far. "Take it easy," he told his friend, "let's hear them out."
Kagome stood up to try and explain the story her way, before Inuyasha decided to fight this belligerent fellow. "Look, it's like this story I was studying at school. It was assignment for our class on Western Culture. Ulysses wanted to sail past the silences, I mean the sirens, but they'd make people, erm, uh, oh no," she began to rummage through her backpack, "I never got to finish that assignment. Where's that book?"
Yusuke murmured to Kuwabara, "You're the one with the senses where this is concerned. You don't sense anything evil or demonic about them, do you?"
"I can sense a lot of energy from them, but I guess they're more friendly than most things with that sort of power," Kuwabara grudgingly admitted. "And they can't be all bad if they have a cat, even if it is a demon cat," he noted Kirara. "But if they are friends, that only makes it worse for them to tie him up!"
"It was under all the ninja food," Kagome said with some relief. She began to flip through her rediscovered textbook.
"Please, believe me, they aren't controlling my mind," Miroku said firmly. "If they had the power to do that, then you also would be under mind control by this time."
"Let me get this straight: you tied up a teammate?" Kuwabara asked, disgust staining his voice.
"I think there are quite a few dysfunctions in that bunch," Yusuke commented.
"You really think so?" Inuyasha shook his fist.
"Hey, no offense," Yusuke said mollifyingly. "My family's pretty dysfunctional. I'm not gonna judge."
"That knowledge allows us to forgive you," Shippo said sarcastically.
Yusuke didn't appear to have heard. He wandered back to Keiko and Kurama. Kuwabara shook his head and decided to leave this odd bunch behind.
Seeing they were gone, Sango commented, "Kagome, I've never heard of that sort of demon you mentinoned, the siren. You'll have to tell us more about them." Kagome laughed nervously, not sure how to explain that she had been too busy travelling with them to do any further work on the assignment.
Inuyasha growled and yelled at Yusuke's back, "The fake monk is the one who's dysfunctional, not us!"
"I'm not a fake," Miroku said stiffly. "In any event, we should concentrate more on our surroundings. I sensed a mild demonic aura from the blue-haired girl."
"I did as well," Sango agreed. "She looked like a frost demon. Inuyasha, can you smell any demons in here?"
"There's way too many scents," he grumbled. "There's a lot of old human scents in here, plus the stench from the Band of Seven, and their gunpowder. Then there's that disgusting smell like honey that's somehow gone bad."
"That's old popcorn left under the seats," Kagome told him. "It actually tastes good when it's fresh."
"I doubt it. It's making me sick right now," Inuyasha grumbled.
Kagome shrugged. "Of course it tastes terrible when it's been sitting under the seats for a few weeks."
"A few weeks?" Sango said weakly.
Kirara, Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Inuyasha all grimaced and winced as they thought about the filth they were sitting in.
"It's worse than sitting in a barn!" Shippo said in amazement.
Bankotsu turned away from that bizarre scene and looked at Mukotsu, who had walked up behind him. "I've got a concoction all ready for the show," Mukotsu informed him.
Renkotsu approached as well. "The fireworks are set up as well."
"Grrsh," agreed Ginkotsu.
"Good," Bankotsu said, then turned to Kyokotsu. "The hole's wide enough now, just leave it alone for now."
"As you say," Kyokotsu agreed, surveying the gaping hole in the ceiling he'd created.
Suikotsu walked up onto the stage surrounded by a bunch of wide-eyed children. "Hello, sorry we're late. The bus broke down."
"Good, we're all ready. Our show's going to be the best they've ever seen!" Bankotsu said. "I haven't seen anything here that could top it."
Jakotsu was distracted by an unidentified flying object. "What is that flying around? Is that a bamboo hat?"
The bamboo hat settled into the front row on the opposite side of the aisle that Yusuke and his group had taken. A smiling man with blue hair, with bangs over his head and a staff in his hand emerged from the hat. The man looked carefully around the theater, then picked up the hat and spoke into it, "It's clear to come out, you know."
Five other people came out of the hat- a man with orange hair and flashy clothes and teeth that resembled small fangs, a small adolescent with an upswept brown ponytail, a tall dark-haired man with a white kitten on his shoulder, a man with purple hair arranged in a queue over his shoulder, and a very handsome brown-haired man wearing expensive clothing and a sword.
"This is certainly traveling in style, Chichiri. You have our thanks," the handsome man, Hotohori, told the blue-haired man.
"Glad to help, Your Majesty, you know?" Chichiri responded affably.
The red-haired man, Tasuki, looked around the room. "Wow! We got here ahead of Tamahome and Miaka, and they're already in this reality!"
Bankotsu pooh-poohed the scene. "A flying hat and teleportation has nothing on our high technology. We're still going to have the best show."
Chiriko looked worriedly at Inuyasha's row. "Why is that monk tied up?"
"I suppose their arrival was inevitable."
"A man with a painted face! It's so funny-looking!"
"I got a ten!"
"I don't have to take orders from the toddler anymore."
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