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Chapter 9 Main Chapters


Chapter 10: Dreams

The rain finally began to ease up, and Haruhi looked at all of us. "Well, it's about time we started to summon Suzaku!" she declared. "You've still got the 'Book of the Universe of the Four Gods' I let you read, right, Yuki?"

Yuki wordlessly took the scroll out from her robes and held it out.

"All right!" Haruhi nodded, "now, according to Koizumi's courtiers, we just have to burn it! Yuki, put it down so Taniguchi can use his fan on it."

Asahina protested while Yuki complied, "Um, b-but, aren't we supposed to perform a ceremony first? Before we burn it?"

"Oh, who cares?" Haruhi shrugged. "Look, the whole point of the ceremony is to burn the scroll. Let's just do it already!"

Haruhi's bored already. This is possibly the one time that might be a good sign- maybe she's in the mood to get us home.

We were all standing in a circle around the scroll, well, more of an exaggerated shape that did and didn't resemble a circle, and more coincidental than intentional. Taniguchi took out his fan, and took careful aim since we were all so close. He said "Rekka Shinen!" and a jet of flame burnt the scroll.

There was a burst of red light, and a piercing bird call. Now there was a man standing where the scroll had been. He was tall and solidly built, wearing a vibrant crimson and orange garment. Flame-red hair spurted in great, effusive jets off his head, and there was a crimson symbol on his brow, above his vermilon eyes and long, thin eyebrows.

This man- well, I guess he has to be Suzaku - growled, "So you actually did manage to summon me."

"We sure did!" exulted Haruhi. "It was a big hassle, but nothing the SOS Brigade couldn't handle!"

Suzaku inhaled and said stonily, "Do you realize that you people have made a complete mockery of the system here?"

"Please excuse us," Koizumi said mollifyingly, "we don't have a lot of common sense."

This didn't appear to have satisfied Suzaku at all - his gaze was still distant and cold.

"This is the part where you give us wishes, right?" Haruhi asked excitedly.

"Yes, unfortunately. Let us hasten to that part," Suzaku said. For the first time, he had a faint smile on his face.

"First," Haruhi began to dictate her terms, "I want to meet lots of aliens, espers, and time travelers."

Suzaku pointed out, "You already have."

Haruhi looked around at us and protested, "Yeah, but I want to play with even more!"

Suzaku made a noise between a sigh and a growl, then relaxed and began to smile a bit again. Meanwhile, Haruhi continued her demands, "And I want an SOS Brigade in every school in the country, under my command, of course, so that we'll have even more opportunities to find and play with aliens and espers, and of course time travelers."

I tapped her arm and said, "Hey," trying to get her attention so I could ask her to ask Suzaku to send us all back home. Haruhi, however, went on with her wishes, "And I want a personal space fleet so the SOS Brigade can start missions into deep space to find aliens! And a time machine!"

"Hey!" I said louder, and gripped her arm. But something about it didn't feel right, so I looked down and saw to my astonishment that her forearms were covered in bright red feathers. Miss Asahina saw this too and screamed, clutching at Tsuruya beside her for support. Tsuruya said in amazement, "That's got to be the weirdest thing I've ever seen." Taniguchi backed slowly away, his horror plainly showing on his face. "What's going on?" asked Kunikida, his view of Haruhi blocked by Suzaku. He moved to see better, and put his hand over his mouth and turned green. My little sister, still hanging upside down out of the witch hat, asked, "Kyon, what's going on?"

It's a testament to Haruhi's concentration that none of this deterred her from making her continued demands, which had now gotten to her sixth, or maybe ninth or so. I looked at Yuki, not sure what to say. Yuki's lips moved rapidly, and some feathers disappeared, but more and more were growing out of Haruhi all the time. Yuki looked at me piercingly while Koizumi came disturbingly close to my side so he could whisper in my ear, "It's vital that you get Miss Suzumiya to stop making wishes immediately."

"Haruhi," I said, tugging on her arm.

She turned to me and said irritatedly, "What is it, Kyon?" Then she noted, "Something feels wrong with your hand. Is it- What? What's happened to my body?" Her eyes alit. "Do I, as priestess, get to become some sort of bird superhero after making my wishes?"

The smile on Suzaku's face became more pronounced, though his gaze was still distant. "Technically," he informed us, "the priestess is limited to three wishes. But in any event, part of the deal is that I get to possess her forever. I suggest you quickly select three out of all those wishes to be fulfilled, before I consume you."

I have to hand it to Haruhi, her confidence never wavers. "Oh, so this is some sort of deal like that, huh? Well, who says I need you to fulfill all my dreams for the SOS Brigade, anyway? I just know we'll find plenty more aliens, espers and time travelers to play with. So I won't be needing any wishes. You'd better find someone else to consume, or else I'll make you write on a school blackboard 'I am not a chicken' 1000 times!"

A sudden glow of light swept over Haruhi, and all the feathers on her disappeared. Suzaku gaped at her as the world suddenly began to bend, and warp. We all stumbled about as we were pulled one way and another. From all around us a pure white light began to glow, and it blotted out everything. Then I felt like I was spinning away, and for just a moment I saw an old book flying towards something that looked like the National Library.

Then I woke up in my bed in my room, in my pajamas. I sat up slowly, looking myself over, and pinching myself a few times. I could faintly hear my little sister in her bedroom, running around and shouting, "Yay! Yay! I'm back! My house, my room! I'm back!"

I laid back in bed and got some well-deserved shuteye.


The next morning, Taniguchi and Kunikida met me at the base of the hill that goes up to the school. We didn't say much, and we trudged silently up the hill. At the top, Kunikida asked me, "Kyon, did you sleep well last night?"

"Not really," I said.

"Ah. I had the weirdest dream," Kunikida offered.

"Mine was downright freaky," Taniguchi mumbled. He looked around the top of the hill. "Man, I just know we'd meet more girls if our school wasn't in such a terrible location!"

We didn't say much else of consequence. As I was leaving my shoe locker, I could've sworn I saw Koizumi swinging around a pen like it was a miniature sword. I increased my pace. I didn't want to know.

A little bit later, I was passing by one of the areas where the upperclassmen hang out, and I heard Tsuruya saying, "Mikuru, come on, let me help you carry all that. You're not all that strong, you know?" She laughed while Miss Asahina stammered in reply, "W-w-what?"

I walked faster still.

Yuki met me outside of my classroom, and looked at me inquisitively. Guessing what she meant to ask, I informed her, "Thank you, Yuki, I appreciate the offer. This one time, though, I think I'd prefer to let it be ambiguous just what was going on. The next time something happens, would you explain it to me, please? I hope nothing odd will happen again, though I know better."

She nodded and went to her classroom next door.

I went into my classroom and sat at my desk. Haruhi was sitting in her desk, behind me, with her head down. I turned around, sensing Haruhi's glance, and saw that she now had her arms flat on the desk and was listlessly resting her head on them. She said, "I was really disappointed to wake up this morning."

"It's better than the alternative, isn't it?" I asked.

She frowned, "But I was having this really great dream, where all the people around me were aliens and espers and time travelers." She sighed and turned her head to look out the window. "Too bad it was just a dream," she said.

"It is unlikely," I told her neutrally.

She remained like that a few seconds more, then sat up and stretched her arms above her head. A moment later, she grinned as she told me, "At least it gave me a really great idea for the SOS Brigade's film for the next cultural festival. We'll start work on the scripts, costuming, and musical score this afternoon!"

"All at once?" I asked. "Shouldn't we make a schedule and a plan first?"

"This is the planning!" she exclaimed. "Honestly!" She scrutinized my face. "I wonder if Mikuru has any lipstick that's the right shade?" she thought aloud. "We'll need something to make a red symbol on your forehead."

The End


Author's Note

I really enjoy Fushigi Yugi, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, and Naruto, so I greatly enjoyed this chance to mix them all together and parody them. I hope you, like I did, left this fanfiction with a greater appreciation for the depth and humor in each of the series.


Special Thanks to my References: Special Blame to the Author for any Factual Errors or Inconsistencies

AnimeGalleries.net for its picture of Suzaku

Wikipedia: Haruhi Suzumiya

Wikipedia: List of Fushigi Yugi characters

Wikipedia: List of Haruhi Suzumiya characters

Wikipedia: Soi (Seiryu Seishi)

Wikipedia: Tamahome



Chapter 9 Main Chapters