|Hot Button Issues||
The Lair of Dragonwiles
fanfictions both comedic and serious
|Capt. Sage's Reviews|
|Fanfiction.net Profile||Coming Soon|
|Act II Draft||Main||Chapters|
Draft of Act III
Originally the epilogue was conceived as being in the form of a play's script, and this concept was further modified to mock certain conventions of scripts, such as writing certain, apparently random, words in all capital letters. It was later disovered that Fanfiction.net discocurages script format and so the entries were later revised to be in normal story format. Certain mistakes were elminated and certain lines revised for clarity.
You are now presented with the original version of the epilogue.
Scene: The Sanada living room, where everyone is still crowded in.
Ayuko: "I'd like to ask the Author if Kent Slade is just a wish fulfillment."
Author (annoyed): "You already asked a question. Let somebody else have a turn."
Dr. Rara: "I'd like to ask that question."
Author (rolls eyes): "Oookay. Fine. So, the question is, is Kent Slade just a way of vicariously experiencing my own personal fantasies?"
Slade (nervously tapping top of Mits' chair, behind which he is standing): "I ought to leave the room."
Author: "No, cool your jets. There's nothing terribly embarrassing here. Listen, while he may do a lot of things I'd like to do, I certainly hope I built Slade better than that. He's not just someone I made up to do everything I want to do. I mean, there's tons of ways we're different. Just look at our hair!"
Mits: "I see what you mean."
Ayuko: "The hair may be different, but the mind is the same."
Author: "No, it's not. Slade also likes stuff that I don't like, and he knows tons of stuff that I don't know."
Mitsuki S. (suspicious): "Maybe even though you two are as different as all that, he still exists for the purpose of wish fulfillment."
Yayoi: "Perhaps you could give us an example of how your minds are different."
Author: "I don't go tapping my fingers all the time."
(Slade hurriedly pulls his hands off the top of the chair.)
Akane: "Do you have any more substantive examples?"
Author: "I've never built a spaceship that went to another planet."
Yayoi (also suspicious): "That's a task you made Slade do as part of the fanfiction. It doesn't prove that he knows things that you don't."
Author: "Well, I wouldn't know where to begin, whereas he and Dr. Warai did!"
Dr. Warai: "Why are you badgering the Author on this point? Surely this doesn't matter now!"
Mitsuki S.: "Slade's been a tough opponent and a good ally, and I just want to know the truth."
Akane: "I'm looking out for Kazuki. The Author's bias may influence the decision that we all come to at the end of this epilogue. If Slade is wish fulfillment, and Slade married someone identical to Mitsuki Rara, then the Author must think that Mitsuki Rara is the best choice. I don't think the Author should let personal bias influence a decision Kazuki will have to live with."
Author (shakes his head): "Now, I refuse to say whether this is my wish fulfillment or not, because if I did, I'd get flames from all the fans who prefer the rest of you young ladies."
(Author has visions of flaming arrows of email searing towards the Author's body)
Author: "Now, even assuming the story is a reflection of what I want-"
Akane, Mitsuki S., and Yayoi (in unison): "It is."
Author (continues doggedly): "-that would only reflect which one I'd pick, hypothetically. It clearly has nothing to do with which one of you Kazuki would pick."
Slade: "Good point."
Ayuko: "Of course you'd agree with him. You're just an imitation of him."
Dr. Rara: "So what you're saying, Author, is that you have no idea of whom Kazuki would pick?"
(Author coughs and looks at his feet.)
Dr. Sanada: "I'd always guessed he'd pick-"
Dr. Rara: "Like you'd know? Clearly he'll pick-"
Ayuko: "I think I have a rather better insight into Kazuki's interesting character. He'll pick-"
Author (hastily breaks in): "But my point is that it's just that. Just guesses."
Alice: "Only Kazuki knows what Kazuki wants. Makes sense to me."
Mena: "Speaking of which, are we ever going to get lives of our own?"
Mitsuki R.: "Yes, I was getting worried that they'd have to be in my shadow forever. The war's over; surely they can have time to find themselves now? I want them to be happy."
Akane: "The story's done now, isn't it? They're free to do as they wish."
Ayuko: "Says who, sister? My Mitsuki still needs protection."
Dr. Warai: "From what?"
(Ayuko deigns to ignore him.)
Ryla: "Maybe we could just renegotiate our contracts, get a few hours off, but still get to protect Ms. Mitsuki. After all, it is rather fun around here."
Dr. Hayase: "It certainly is, but I feel rather bad about imposing on Dr. Sanada all the time. We practically crowd him out of his house."
Dr. Warai: "Maybe we could arrange for someone to move out."
Kumu: "If you're advocating getting rid of me to make room, forget it."
Dr. Warai (mutters inaudibly): "How did she know?"
D (scoops up Kumu and says): "Don't be silly Kumu. Of course we're keeping you."
Kazuki: "I would appreciate it if you stopped biting me though."
Kumu: "Don't count on it."
Shiozaki and Izawa: "You don't mind us hanging around, do you Ms. Sanada? We'd like to visit you a lot just like they do!"
Mitsuki S.: "No, in fact I appreciate your being here. I'm sure you can help us a lot: with so much company, there's so many dishes to do."
Shiozaki, Izawa, and United Team Alliance (turn to Author in desperation): "Please, could you clone some more Mitsukis for us?"
Author: "First of all, I didn't clone anybody."
D: "What's wrong with clones?"
Shiozaki, Izawa, and United Team Alliance: "Well, just don't torment us by having her marry her own little brother! Or cousin! Or whatever!"
Mits: "He's not her little brother, why would you ever think that-"
(Dr. Hayase whispers in her ear.)
Mits: "Oh. Uh... Huh? That doesn't make any sense!"
Dr. Hayase (whispers back): "No, but they made them pretend to be siblings anyways!"
Author: "Well, really, perhaps we should let Kazuki decide which of you he wants?"
Kazuki: "Yeah, I'm all for that!"
Mitsuki S. : "Are you crazy? He never knows how to do anything right!"
Yayoi: "As his teacher, I'm obliged to advise him in major life decisions."
D: "But if he does that, won't he have to leave here and go to another house?"
Mitsuki R. : "Oh, choosing for himself, that sounds like a wonderful idea!"
(Everyone stares at her)
Akane: "Isn't he a little young for this? It'd be more responsible if he actually had a job first."
Kazuki: "Hold on, why don't I get to pick?"
Prof. Sanada: "It must be this world's revenge for you not letting Akane and I pick."
(Akane kicks him.)
Dr. S (in alarm): "Hey, I would've picked you!"
Akane (tightly): "Yes, dear."
Dr. S (joking): "Of course, I would've picked her just to spite the idiot!" (addressing Dr. Rara.)
Dr. R: "Oh yeah, stupid? I think I got the better of the two sisters!"
Dr. S: "Yeah, but I remember when we were dating them, I had the better car!"
Dr. R: "I'm the rich one here, I had the better car!"
Mitsuki S.: "We're missing the point. Kazuki needs to pick one of us."
Author: "You know, who says that Kazuki has to pick one of you four? Maybe he wants to pick somebody else."
(all four girls glare at him)
Yayoi: "I don't appreciate your implication."
D: "You're mean!"
Mitsuki S (cracks her knuckles)
Yayoi (calculates best way to slap Author)
D and Mitsuki R (prepare to glare and cry simultaneously)
Author (gulps in fear)
Dr. Rara (chuckles): "You're in trouble now!"
(Author quickly uses his creative license to make everyone forget his question.)
Yayoi: "That won't work. We just reread the script."
(Author flees in terror, knowing no creative license can save him now.)
Akane (puts hand to forehead): "He really crossed the line that time, didn't he?"
Dr. Sanada: "I pity that fool."
Ayuko: "He deserves what's coming to him."
Bodyguard Trio and female students of Nanjyo Academy (chanting): "No mercy! No mercy!"
Dr. Hayase: "I believe the point has been made."
Mrs. Nanjyoin (nods)
Dr. Warai (realizes Author is too far away to hear all this and shouts): "Please, put down the knife! I'm sure the Author will apologize!" (chuckles softly)
(Everyone looks around. No one has a knife. Dr. Warai laughs more.)
(Author, after hyperventilating, checks the prop list and realizes that knives are not on the set. He sighs in relief and realizes he deserves that scare for his ill-considered question and forcing Dr. Warai to use dated slang.)
Dr. Warai: "Quite right."
Naoko Yoshi: "Kazuki, we are all curious, though. Which of the four would you pick?"
Mitsuki S. (drawing an elimination chart): "We'll know once we get this done."
Yayoi (glares at chart): "I think we need to choose a more fair method than that."
D: "We could do what we always do. Each of us will make a meal for him, except this time we'll force him to tell us which one he likes better."
Kazuki: "But I like all of your cooking! And that's no way to choose a wife!"
Mitsuki S.: "Then let's start the elimination chart."
Kazuki: "That's not what I meant!"
Masaki: "If we can't take him with us, maybe we could decide for him."
Kazuki: "I'm still in school, Dad! Can't I wait a few years like Aunt Akane said?"
Mitsuki R.: "Of course you can, Kazuki. We'll all be very happy to wait."
(Yayoi and Mitsuki S. glare at her)
Alice (whispers to Kazuki): "I think our Mitsuki has your best interests in mind."
Ryla (whispers to Kazuki): "Yes, definitely."
Mena (whispers to Kazuki): "Just say a few words and you'll be together forever!"
D: "Everyone can see you three trying to sway his mind."
Dr. Hayase: "Perhaps we should change to a different subject."
Mitsuki S. (quickly scribbling on chart): "I'll have this done soon, don't change yet."
Kazuki (aggrieved): "Why don't I get to choose? I never get to choose anything in this whole series! Why can't Dual let me choose something?"
Dr. Sanada: "I didn't know you felt that way. You do like it around here, don't you Kazuki?"
Kazuki: "Yeah, I do like it here, I just want to be able to choose for myself. Really, this is a great life. I mean, isn't Dual- isn't Dual-"
All Cast and Audience: "Isn't Dual great?"
|Act II Draft||Main||Chapters|